Dating can be fun and exciting, but it can also be complex. This is in no way helped by certain dating trends and behaviors that are insufferably annoying. This post will address some of the most outrageously annoying dating trends.
“There are a few things more frustrating than getting dressed up with the intent of going somewhere, then suddenly having your date cancel the plans at the last possible moment. This frustrating trend has become known as glamboozling.”
You have likely taken the time to get ready, blowing out your hair, giving yourself a manicure, and perfectly applied your winged eyeliner, only to receive an 11th-hour text from your date saying that they are sorry but they cannot make it.
Plenty of Fish, a dating platform, notes that 58% of singles have been victims of glamboozling. A licensed family and marriage counselor, Anita Chlipala, noted that canceling date plans should always be done ahead of time, and only on the day-of with a very valid excuse, in order to give your date more notice. Failing to do so, is extremely inconsiderate and rude to your date, not to mention it is a colossal make-up waster.
To avoid being a glamboozling victim, it is helpful to know some telltale signs to be on the lookout for. If your date has postponed on you before, they are more likely to do so again. This is a behavior exhibited by avoidant types, as well as those with commitment issues. Consider how this type of behavior would affect a relationship in the future, and perhaps, if your date has canceled on you before, don’t invest an overabundance of time in date prep the next time around.
If your date is difficult to get a hold of on the day of the date, it could be another sign that they might flake out. Perhaps hold off on curling your eyelashes if you have not heard from your date for at least an hour prior. If you want to be doubly sure you won’t be stood up, try texting or calling your date earlier in the day to make sure everything is still on for the date.
When a date cancels on you, it goes deeper than just a waste of makeup or a good hair day. Being stood up ignites vulnerabilities in us, regardless of how long we have been dating the person who is standing us up. It makes us feel like in our relationship we are a low priority, and that can be deeply demoralizing.
If you are glamboozled, make the best of it. Don’t sulk and let your preparation efforts go to waste. Call a friend and head out for a fun night together. While you can’t always avoid being canceled on, you can always make the best of a bad situation.
One of the newest situational dating offenses is the newly crafted term of ‘cause-play’ in which an ex-partner in a relationship pulls away, ceasing all or all contact with you, only to reappear later with seemingly ulterior motives for their re-emergence in your life.
Cause-playing results in a person who you have distanced yourself from (or vice-versa) suddenly reappearing through often odd means of attempting to contact you again. Sometimes it could be an invitation to a gig, a donation to a charity or cause on their behalf, or straight out asking for a favor.
Plenty of Fish found that cause-play strikes roughly 61% of singles who have had a relationship fizzle out, on either good, amicable, or bad terms, then have their ex resurface in some form or fashion. Let’s face it: our exes are exes for a reason, whatever that may be. There are certain situations where the split can have you and your ex remain in a platonic relationship, but that does not usually involve a distancing or ghosting approach. Aside from that type of scenario, keeping exes at a comfortable distance is generally advised.
If you were the culprit in the breakup and have been on the committing end of ghosting an ex, perhaps you would be best to steer clear of contacting an ex and keep your causes for your actions to yourself. It is generally best that you and your ex move in your own directions.
If an ex sends a mass email or asks for a charity donation, replying or contributing as a way of attempting to rekindle anything is likely doomed to fail from the start. Asking for a review of a business or a LinkedIn referral (yes, cause-play can even take these forms) is certainly not a road to anything likened to a valuable relationship. And beyond everything, it’s just plain awkward.